The Course of Emotion
by dokushoka79
Summary: Formerly known as Wishful Thinking How Luke came around to giving Glynis a shot.
1. Wishful Thinking

Title: Wishful Thinking Author: dokushoka79  
  
Rating: G  
  
Spoilers: Up to Recreation Category: General  
  
Summary: Just some wishful thinking, tongue in cheek, kinda deal on my part. Well, anyhow, this happens after the party during the Recreation episode. I wanted a Luke moment ^_^ Disclaimers: Joan of Arcadia and characters belong to Barbara Hall, CBS and Sony Pictures. This is for pure entertainment. No profit being made.  
  
Dedication: To Luke. I hope he forgives me but I got a kick out of writing that he wishes he can have a relationship with Grace like the one Joan and Adam have with each other _  
  
A/N: I was supposed to post this story before the new episode (State of Grace) came out...but, once again my reason for a late entry is: I type slow lol! ^_^ I wrote this as part of a longer story which I've written (okay jotted down notes for) but I just wasn't sure if I should continue this section further. So yeah, I hope you enjoy. I think I'm on a roll on these "short" stories ^_^v Feedback: I'll take any. ^_^ you can email me as well at dokushoka79@yahoo.com **************************************************************************** ****************  
  
"I am never going to do this again" I say to myself. "Screw popularity and fitting in. Who ever said throwing a party while your parents are out of town was fun? Definitely not me." I continue in my head. I press the cold pack I have in my hands tighter against my eyes. The headache that began forming in the back of my head earlier in the evening is still throbbing incessantly.  
  
"Hey geek." I hear Grace's voice call out. I peek at her through the side of the cold pack and say a little annoyed "Must you call me geek all the time? You know my name right?" Grace just shrugs and hands me a cup of water. "Here take this." She takes my left hand and in it places two pain relievers. I stare dumbly at the two pills in the palm of hand, not really processing what it is. When I realize what it is Grace is on already on her way back to the kitchen to put away the trash she picked up from the coffee table. I sigh and just pop the pills into my mouth. I swallow the water in a big gulp. Grace never ceases to amaze me. I get up and take a survey of how my living room looks like. "Man oh man we're gonna be in big trouble." I breathe out.  
  
I hear glasses clinking against each other from the kitchen. I'm guessing that Grace is getting a start on cleaning up in there. I appreciate the fact that she is still here. I thought she would bolt like the others did. But, she is still here and cleaning up no less! I found myself calling out for her a lot tonight. I was depending on her to help me out. At times she didn't want to but at other times I catch her one step ahead of me keeping one group under control or doing a spot clean up. Between the times she first kissed me at the dance and when we started working together on our science fair project, I began to depend on her. Not just for the science fair work but to just be there. We're not what she would call friends. I would like to be "friends" but that isn't what I really want from her. I do envy her friendship with Adam and Joan because they have a "defined" relationship. But to tell you the truth, I'd take friends over nothing right now.  
  
It's been like pulling teeth trying to get Grace to stay in the same room with me for the past week. With the exception of chemistry class, tonight was the first time I was in the same room as her for an extended amount of time. I have it really bad. I can't really explain the attraction I feel for her. It's more than just a physical attraction. There is something about her that makes me want to just be with her and hold her. But she would never allow that to happen. I like how she is always trying to fight the system because it shows her spunk and charisma. But she also has a softer side. She has a vulnerability that she hides behind her tough persona.  
  
I walk over to the window and peek out. I see Adam and Joan. They have their arms wrapped around each other as they continue to sway to, I assume, the music I hear still coming from our stereo. This reminds me that I should it turn down. The song just ended so I'm sure Adam and Joan won't mind if I turn it off.  
  
I envy those two. They have things going for them. They've worked things out and now they have a "relationship". It's a state I wish Grace and I were in. A "relationship". I sigh and I tell myself it's just wishful thinking.  
  
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	2. Rude Awkenings

Title: Rude Awakenings  
  
Author: dokushoka79  
  
Rating: PG  
  
Spoilers: Up to Recreation  
  
Category: Angst  
  
Summary: Takes place right after "Wishful Thinking". Cleanup and the morning after. Luke and Grace moments.  
  
Disclaimers: Joan of Arcadia and characters belong to Barbara Hall, CBS and Sony Pictures. This is for pure entertainment. No profit being made.  
  
Dedication: To my muse ^_~ and to AL.  
  
Cheese Factor: 7.5 (I'm just happy to finish this story!)  
  
A/N: I'm trying to piece together how Luke made his way to deciding to take a chance on Glynis. This series is supposed to end with the song fic "What if it all means something" but I got sidetracked and decided to post that story first. I think it came out better as a stand alone don't you think? Well, anyhow, I'm just kinda working backwards here. But, thanks for reading and enjoy!  
  
I have been standing in front of the stereo for I don't know how long, lost in my thoughts. I finally shake myself from my reverie and head over to the kitchen. I pick up stray cups and garbage along the way. When I get there I see that it is already semi clean. I am surprised how quick of a job Grace had made of it all. I see that she's also organized some garbage bags near the dining table. Quick and organized. Something new about Grace to store away in my mind besides intelligent, intriguing, and attractive. I place the plastic cups into the bag and I look around to see what else I can do. Grace has her back turned to me and she is looking down at something on the kitchen table.  
  
"Hey, thanks for doing this, Grace." I tell her as I sidle up to her side.  
  
She jumps back and quickly closes at what I notice is the baby album we had been looking at earlier. She has a guilty look in her eyes which is quickly replaced by her usual smirk. "Whatever." Her cheeks were a bit pink giving her an alluring appeal. Gosh listen to me, I sound like I've been reading romance novels! *ahem* not that I have been, you know!  
  
Grace moves over to the sink, abandoning the photo album. She busies herself by cleaning up whatever dishes were there. I decide not bring up the photo album and I follow her example and start some clean up myself. We work silently side by side until we are finished with the counters and such. As she puts the dishes on a rack to drip dry, I go off to find a broom and a mop. I turn back suddenly remembering to bring a plastic bag with me when I bump right into Grace. She had been about to grab a towel that was on the kitchen counter when we collided. I grab onto her before she can fall backwards and she wraps her arms around me. We stand still as our gaze locks onto one another and it seemed like time stood still as we continued to hold on to each other. I look down at her mouth and I see them slightly open. I look back at her eyes and I begin to lean forward.  
  
The front door opens and I suddenly hear Adam and Joan enter the house. Our moment is shattered and I feel her quickly move out of my arms. She swallows and clears her throat. She motions me to move into the living room and we both walk towards Adam and Joan.  
  
"So how are we going to this?" Joan asks as she surveys the mess we have. "Adam told his father that he was going to stay and help clean up so we have an extra hand."  
  
"Well," I say as I clear my own throat, "Uhm...Grace and I already made some headway in the kitchen. I think if you can get started on the living room then we can finish up in there. That is if you are willing to stay, Grace." I turn and give her a questioning look. I know I'm giving her a way out. I mean after what just happened in the kitchen she would probably want to get as far away from me as possible. But surprisingly enough she shrugs and said "I might as well finish what I started." I stared at her as she made her way back to the kitchen. I looked back at Joan and Adam and they also shrug and went to work on the living room. I don't know how to take what Grace said so I just follow Grace back into the kitchen.  
  
By the time we finish up cleaning it is 2am and I am beat. Kevin hadn't come home yet which was a good thing. But, we still have to tell him what happened because we need to replace a bottle of champagne and one of dad's cheaper wines. It was a good thing we got a handle on things with the liquor cabinet before it got too bad. Those two bottles were our only casualties.  
  
Everything was in order. All the trash was put away, all tale tell spots cleaned up, both upstairs and downstairs. I sat down on the couch with a yawn. Grace sits down next to me. Joan plops down next to Grace and Adam sits next to Joan. Our couch is pretty big so we all fit comfortably. I couldn't enjoy the fact that Grace voluntarily sat next to me because I was too tired and before I knew it I was soon dead to the world.  
  
It was 3am and the door to the house opened quietly. Kevin rolled in as silently as he could and closed the door behind him. He made his way into the house and found that there was no noise except for some soft snoring coming from the living room. Kevin went to investigate and there he found Grace with her head on Luke's shoulder and Joan with hers on Adam's. Kevin smiled and went upstairs thinking that Girardi siblings got pretty lucky tonight. But before settled in for the night, he went back downstairs with two blankets on his lap. He spread it over the two couples and with one last look at them went back up to his room.  
  
I awoke slowly. I heard movements in the distance and I smell something cooking. I begin to remember what happened last night. I had fallen asleep on the couch. But I'm not in the same position that I was in when I fell asleep. I notice that I'm lying down instead of sitting up. There is a blanket over me and with a start, I realize that I have my arms around a body. It is warm and snuggled close to me. I am what I once heard described to me as "spooning" the body. Then I hear Joan's voice breaking through my thoughts say,  
  
"Adam, this sucks soo bad. You know how to cook pancakes better than me!"  
  
Adam's voice follows up and says  
  
"Cha, Jane. It's like the whole flask on the flame thing in chemistry class."  
  
"Ugh, Luke said the exact same thing the last time I tried to cook pancakes!" Joan pouts.  
  
"Don't worry, Jane. Here let me show you." Adam says comfortingly.  
  
I tune their voices out and bring my thoughts back on the body next to mine. It's not Joan's since she's in the kitchen. It's definitely not Adam's because one, I heard his voice in the kitchen and two, he's not this petite. So that left one other person. Deductive reasoning early in the morning, wow my brain is off to a start. Suddenly, I feel the body next to me move. I know it has to be Grace because the back of her blond head just moved closer to my face. She is rubbing the sleep out of her eyes and then I feel her still. I know that my arms are still around her and I feel her touch my left arm. Joan and Adam's voices are floating in once again from the kitchen so I can imagine her thought process is going the same path mine did a few moments ago.  
  
I am surprised when she turns to face me and our eyes meet. I see surprise is also reflected in her eyes. With no concern or care that she might hurt me. I tighten my hold on her and pull her closer to me. I notice that her hair is tousled and it actually looks better that way. It softens the edge that she usually has. And just like how I found myself doing last night, I am losing myself in her eyes and I move forward. Our foreheads touch and I can almost feel her lips meet mine when I hear Joan say  
  
"Hey! No making out early in the morning! I can handle only soo much right now!"  
  
We quickly break apart to find her standing behind the couch with a smile on her face.  
  
"But if you need a moment, that's fine because breakfast isn't ready yet." She says teasingly and heads back into the kitchen.  
  
Grace and I awkwardly sit up and she avoids looking at me as she says "I'm going to the bathroom." I watch her silently as she makes her way up the stairs. I follow her and I see her enter the hallway bathroom. I go into my parent's bathroom to freshen up before going back downstairs. My thoughts are occupied with Grace and all the feelings that I've been feeling for her lately. I really like her. This is the first time I've ever felt this way about any girl. I know how I feel but it's her feelings that I'm not sure about. There is something there but I just don't know if it's the same something that I am feeling.  
  
After I get out of the bathroom, I meet up with Grace who had just stepped out of the bathroom herself, at the head of the stairs.  
  
"Grace." I call out to her.  
  
She turns to me with a guarded look on her face as she crosses her arms.  
  
I open my mouth and say "I think there is something between us..." But before I can finish Graces says angrily  
  
"One kiss done for a political reason and a science fair project does not a relationship make. Now leave it alone, geek boy."  
  
"Grace, why don't you ever let me finish what I want to say?" I ask her exasperatedly "And why don't you ever call me by name?!"  
  
"Well, for starters, I know you're just going to spout something stupid or just ramble on and on without reaching a point. And second, we are not on a first name calling basis although you seem to think so."  
  
"Well, why don't you let me finish first before you jump to the conclusion that I'm going to say something stupid or just ramble on?" I ask her sounding a little distressed  
  
"Oh now you're going to tell me what to do?" she says testily.  
  
"No, I'm just asking you to give me a chance. I've been trying to tell you that I have feelings for you and I want to know if you feel the same as me." I say quickly and with all the emotions I've been feeling inside.  
  
A moment passes as we look at each other.  
  
"Well, see there you go, something stupid." Grace says finally, a little choked. "When are you going to get it in your head that I don't care if you have feelings for me or not. Just forget all it." She sounds cold when she says the last part but she looks at me once last time and what I see in her eyes belies her words. I see emotions in there, fear being one of them. It gives me hope so I move towards her and I plead "Please, Grace, give me a chance."  
  
But my actions and words seem to anger her because she pushes against and says loudly "I said forget it! What part of that don't you understand?! Did it ever occur to you that I don't want to give you a chance because I don't want to?! Leave me alone." And with that said she storms down to the kitchen. I stand at that top of the stairs a little stunned and hurt by what she said. I hear her say good bye to Joan and Adam. Joan protests her leaving because breakfast was almost done but she refuses and says that she has to get home. I'm halfway down the stairs when she passes by and goes out the front door in a hurry. Joan was following behind her but she stops when the door closes. I sit down on the steps with my head in my hands.  
  
"What happened?" Joan asks me  
  
"Nothing." I say to her. I look up at her and shrug sadly. "Nothing." I repeat.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ A/N 2: No one really asked for the continuation of "Wishful Thinking" but my muse was being persistent about me writing this story to completion so I can't really argue with her now can I? :p But anyhow, here you have it. Chapter 2: Rude Awakenings of, what I've decided to call "The Course of Emotions". ^_^ Gosh, how corny is that?! _'  
  
A/N 3: Oh, I really don't know how old Kevin is so for my story's sake I made him 21. I also don't know how mobile he is so ... yeah, please excuse me. 


	3. Forgetting Grace

Title: Forgetting Grace  
  
Author: dokushoka79  
  
Rating: G  
  
Spoilers: During State of Grace  
  
Category: Angst  
  
Summary: Luke's thoughts prior to the kiss with Glynis and a little bit afterwards.  
  
Disclaimers: Joan of Arcadia and characters belong to Barbara Hall, CBS and Sony Pictures. This is for pure entertainment. No profit being made.  
  
Dedication: To Luke ^_~  
  
A/N: I hope this does Luke some justice. Let's just say this helped me deal with the kiss between Luke and Glynis and their continued relationship. I'm all for Grace and Luke but for now I'm just trying to understand Luke and give him some time. Thanks for reading and enjoy! ^_^  
  
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"You need to forget about Grace." Friedman's voice echoes in my head. Forget about Grace, huh? That's easier said than done. It's been a little over two weeks since Grace and I had our "talk" the morning after the party. The memory of her words still stung. I may not be able to replay the moment in its entirety, but I can remember clearly the feelings I felt. I know I was rejected by Grace but I haven't been able to let go. Maybe I'm a sucker for pain and suffering but I don't want to give up on her. It was because of the look I saw in her eyes that morning. I have hope that she didn't mean what she had said to me and I might still have a chance. But as the days go by and with the continued coldness I get from Grace, my hope is slipping. Friedman's words once again ring in my ears and I wonder I if I really am throwing myself against a locked gate?  
  
It is lunch time but I have no thoughts about food. All of my thoughts are focused on the dilemma I find myself in. Should I forget about Grace and move on like Friedman said or don't give up on Grace and continue to pine away for her? Glynis is a nice enough girl but I haven't really noticed her. I haven't noticed her the way I've noticed Grace. Maybe it is lust. What I feel for Grace that is. But even as I say that to myself I know I'm selling myself short. I've only had eyes for Grace since the first time she came over to my house to study with Joan. It was her brain that attracted me to her initially but eventually it grew to something more. I love watching her, the way she moved, the quirks of her mouth, and the fire in her eyes that rage when there is something that gets her riled. I'm not saying lust is completely out of the picture. Of course I'm attracted to Grace in a physical sense. My mouth goes dry every time I catch a glimpse of her skin when her shirt inches up to expose her belly. Today was no exception. When she lifted up her shirt to remove her naval ring I felt my jaw drop at the sight. Also, the memory of the softness of her lips when she kissed me and the warmth of her body when I had my arms around her are all burned into my memory. Forget Grace? Ha!  
  
I don't realize this but my legs have taken me to the quad where I see Grace eating lunch with Adam. She had said earlier that she was going to go out for lunch but it looks like she changed her mind. She had an intent look in her face as she was talking to Adam. I am hit once again with jealousy towards Adam and the friendship he has with Grace. I'm not saying that I believe he is a rival for her affections but just the relationship that he has with her is what I envy. I continue to watch her and then she looks up in my direction. She stills as we make eye contact. Even from the distance that I am at I can feel the coldness she directs towards me. I break the eye contact and walk away saddened.  
  
Two days have passed since my last encounter with Grace. I've avoided looking in her direction in class and have spent most of my time on the other side of school where I knew she wouldn't be at. I've decided to let go of Grace in my mind. I think a lot of this decision is due to Friedman's constant harping which has worn me down. At lunch time today he finally convinced me to approach Glynis, the "open gate". I've felt uncomfortable by the attention and the looks she's thrown my way in the past but I've gotten to thinking what if I am passing something up that was really meant for me? What if she is the one?  
  
It's after school and Friedman and I are walking down the hallway in search of Glynis. I shouldn't be scared to try something new. Like any scientific experiment there is a certain risk involved. I knew that when I put my heart on the line for Grace but now I have to understand that it is time to move on. I may not know Glynis all that much but that's how dating works. We will get to know each other later down the road. I'm really nervous though. My heart is beating a little faster and I'm feeling a little warm. Despite all of my thinking and Friedman's attempts at convincing me, I'm still not 100% sure that this is the right choice.  
  
I'm still lost in my thoughts when Friedman stops me and nods in the direction of the stairs. There was Glynis.  
  
I look at him and say "I have doubts."  
  
"And you think your doubts have any validity?" Friedman says harshly "You were certain about Grace. You were dead wrong. It's not your field, dude." He pushes me forward and "Go."  
  
I look back at Friedman who was already walking away from me. I was annoyed at his tone but I let it go as I say to myself "I'm engaging in an exploratory mission. That's all." It was more to give me courage than to explain what I was doing. I approach Glynnis who is holding a handful of 3x5 cards, preparing for the debate.  
  
"Hey Glynis," I say to her as I stop in front of her. "I just wanted to wish you luck on the debate." I give her a tentative smile and I put my hands in my pockets.  
  
She stands up and she says "Thanks. It's kind of awkward that I'm opposing Joan, but..." she stops in mid sentence as she moves closer to me. "Are you ok?" she asks a little worried. She looks at me intently, her eyes roving my face. "You're flushed and your breathing is rapid and shallow. Oh." I think she's caught wind of my nervousness because she smiles at me comfortingly and takes another step closer. I smile back at her as I stammer "You must, you must be the best health teacher at the "Y"." We both move to the side of the staircase to allow the flow of traffic to continue unhindered. "I feel it's important to have a complete grasp of the information in order to teach the kids." she says to me accepting the compliment. "Your breathing is also increasing. It has to do with restricted capillaries and increased blood flow, you know." I tell her when I notice the change. "I know." she states. "The hypothalamus gland processes external and intellectual stimuli which causes", she takes a nervous breath "tells the body how to respond." I feel myself move closer to her. I am completely in awe of her right now. "Yeah, I read the Walen and Roth study." I say excitedly. "We seem to share a lot of the same interests." I tell her looking straight up into her eyes. I'm suddenly aware of how blue her eyes are. They are clear and bright. We are soo close now that I feel our breaths mingling. Glynis is looking straight back at me just as intently and I hear her say breathily "Yes. So you must know that if my heart rate continues to increase, I might get light-headed, which wouldn't be good for the debate."  
  
I smile and say "No, not at all." I don't make a move to leave but I continue to look at her. "So I should go." She says softly. "Of course." I answer back. And before I know it I am moving forward and suddenly my mouth makes contact with hers and we're kissing. I feel a big rush and the only thought in my head was that this feels right. We break apart from our kiss and we both have smiles on our faces. I feel a little breathless as she turns to grab her bag. Maybe this can be something after all, I think to myself. Maybe I can transfer my feelings to her. She continues to smile at me as I watch her walk away. My smile is still on my face but I feel it slip when I see Grace looking back at me. She is leaning against the side of the lockers. She gives me wink with an ambiguous expression on her face. As she turns away she gives me a one sided smile. It was the warmest reaction I've received from her in weeks. It confuses me and the confidence and resolution I had earlier is gone. I'm once again spiraling down into doubt; questioning my choice. I walk away with my head down, full of thoughts.  
  
**************************************************************************** **** A/N 2: Much thanks to Payton Tyler for reading and reviewing my lil' story. I hope you like this chapter. I'm going to try to continue...wish me luck ^_~ I also want to thank "Mysterious Message" for having the transcripts of JoA episodes on hand. ^_^ 


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